I was going to start this off by marveling that I haven't posted anything here since October 1st, but I'm not actually shocked about that. It definitely feels like I've been away a long time....
We moved into our new condo in October and with all the renovations, and decorating projects in the past 3 months (plus family commitments and holiday stuff, new personal interests and goals, and throw in a dash plain ol' laziness and disinterest) I haven't felt the pull to sit down to write.
But the New Year always seems to spark a little motivation in people right? I suppose I'm no different. While catching up on some Google Reader articles tonight I realized that I need to write out the things I want to accomplish this year - things that have been weighing me down that past while. My goals tend to accumulate and taunt me for a long time before I eventually find the drive to start in on them. Then when I finally do get started I go hard at them for a while, but they almost always end up fizzling out. I am nothing if not a fickle hobbyist. I've abandoned many things: french classes, an online history course, scrap booking, knitting, fitness plans (over and over again, bah), book clubs... the list goes on and on.
I realize, however, that this flightiness is getting in my way of being who I truly want to be. I want to identify more truthfully as a reader, a writer, an artist, a helper, a student and a healthy, happy person. So here is my list of resolutions, the goals I have to make 2010 the year when I really cultivate the interesting, passionate, accomplished woman who lives somewhere inside of me:
1/ I want to be more engaged in current events and world issues. I'm cutting waaaaay back on the nonsense celebrity gossip blogs and changing my focus to news sites and blogs with more inspiring, educational content. My intelligence and power have been zapped by the useless vortex of perezhilton.com and its ilk for long enough and it's time to use my brain for more worthwhile things!
2/ I want to master veganism and stop doing it so half-assed. The vegetarian stuff is easy schmeezy, but giving up cheese and other milk products - and especially having the conviction to reject food prepared with these ingredients for me by others - has been my weak point. I'm the queen of rationalization. Everyday is filled with "special occasion" moments that I justify indulging for, especially this time of year (well I guess, technically "this" time of year is over now, but I still have leftover cookies in tins on my counter, so what am I supposed to do??!!!). I want to go through my 6 new cookbooks and really build my repertoire of vegan recipes. I also need to make sure that I get a reliable B12 supplement, because I surely do not consume enough of it through diet alone. Also iodine sources...
3/ I will read more. This ties in with #1 pretty directly, since I'll have so much more free time now that I'm limiting all the smut. I've been slowly working my way through Outlander for 3+ months now and that's ridiculous. I will set a 3 week limit for myself to start and finish a book. Instead of surfing online in my free moments throughout the day I will now use that time to read a few pages. I'll read before bed, and during Owen's nap. This is an easy goal and I know I won't have much trouble here. I've just gotten a little sidetracked these past few months and I need to get back into reading to kill time. I get so much out of it, and (almost) nothing out of killing time reading gossip blogs.
4/ I will finally lose these last 15 or so lbs that I've been carrying around. I'm sick to shit of them and I want them GONE. The first step of reintroducing myself to a gym got underway just before Christmas, and I will stick with my commitment to working out 3-4 days a week. I will workout HARD and get to where I want to be by the spring. Enough is enough.
5/ I want to write more. The other day I read an article about a woman who wakes up at 6am everyday, makes herself a cup of coffee and spends an hour doing stream of consciousness writing back in bed before her son gets up. Through this writing she comes up with poetry, insights to personal struggles, and solutions to daily grind stuff, and finds the process really satisfying. I highly doubt that I'll EVER become a morning writer (I loathe my day of the week to wake up with Owen while Luke gets to sleep in. Even if he only gets 30 more minutes than I get I take it as a personal affront and end up resenting him... that's my twisted sense of entitlement for you.). I'll have to carve out some time elsewhere in my newly repurposed day!
6/ I want to get back into my sketching, and venture out further into other mediums of art. I'd like to trying painting, which scares the CRAP out of me, but I think there's something in me that might be really good at it. Kind of like how I discovered that I could draw. I'd never drawn really, my strengths and interest were always more in music and writing growing up, but a couple of years ago I picked up a pencil out of boredom at a temp placement job and shock of shocks! I found out I can draw pretty darned well. With some practice and tips from my artist father, I found myself turning out images that I was/am really proud of and I quite surprised my family and friends. I want to surprise them and myself again by seeing what else I might be capable of.
I know I have more to do, more goals to add to the list. I'm just tapped out for now. It's getting late and I feel sleepy (also, tomorrow's my day to get up with the kid, so I'm already mentally preparing for that, woe is me). That'll have to do for tonight. Reading back over it, it doesn't seem like too much. I know that I'm ready for a change in priorities in my "me" life, and I'll only achieve this shift by committing, and in some instances re-committing to this good stuff.
So, cheers to a New Year! I hope your resolutions for 2010 have you as excited about the year to come as mine have me. :)
